I know Abhishek and his wife Priyanka for many years. Whenever I meet them, feel a lot of bonding, love, and understanding between them.
Abhishek is a dreamer, he dares to think big. He never settles on ordinary things. I always amaze with his knowledge of current technologies and updates.
Priyanka is very intelligent, witty and helped Abhishek in his every venture.
During those days I was about to getting engaged, visited Abhishek to invite his family on the occasion.
He casually asked me “What do you would do? What are your future plans?”
I responded as per my understanding. He may be observed some kind of dominating trait in my response.
Very calmly he explained, “I never asked Priyanka to do job or business or manage home. Whether she should go to her mother’s place for 5 days or 2 days. It’s her own decision.
I never enforced my opinion on her.
Why are you deciding what your spouse has to do? Let her take own decision.”
I really didn’t understand much that time, but those words got printed on my mind.
After some years, I realized that why we should not enforce our decisions on others. And why it’s so frustrating?
Enforcing our decisions on other is Dominating behavior. When someone enforces his decisions on us, as a receiver we start feeling,
“Am I not intelligent enough to make decisions? Why is he taking me for granted? (feeling of getting ignored has prevailed here) Or Am I his servant?”.
People start feeling frustrated, insulated, ignored and developed inferiority complex within them.
If you dictate every small thing to your child, he will develop that kind of personality where he will struggle to lead his life confidently.
Even in organizations, if you dictate your juniors “Do what I say”. You may get expected output from them, but you can’t get best out of them.
Every relationship (either in Family or Organization) needs Trust, Appreciation, Encouragement, and Respect. If you are lacking any of them, the relationship would suffer.
The actual cause of dominating behavior is “we don’t treat people equally”. We respect people based on their roles as Boss, colleague, family members or in that matter beggar.
Suppose you are in anger, Can you treat your boss same as you treat your family members? No, because we take our family members for granted.
But we need to understand every individual has self-esteem. If you see people beyond these roles, every human being is same. We need to rise above the roles and respect each individual.
To overcome on this trait, also we need to cultivate Asking behavior, it would definitely give a better response.
When you ASK for something, other person feels that they are treated with respect, getting importance and having freedom of decision.
Always remember you will receive what you throw around. If you want respect from other, start treating everyone with respect.
So treat everyone with RESPECT, APPRECIATE/ENCOURAGE people around you irrespective of their roles.
I am always very grateful to Abhishek and his family for their love and guidance.